I'm sorry but I don't care what you think...anymore.
The idea of letting go of what we have, in order to get what we want, sounds a little counter-intuitive, but if we are honest with ourselves, we hold on to far too much in our heads, our hearts and our lives, simply, because it feels safer. We feel protected by what is familiar.
We find ourselves clinging on to negative habits, thoughts and patterns that allow us to avoid creating new ways of thinking, doing and being. That’s how fear presents itself in our lives. Insidiously appearing as something that is protecting us, while, in actual fact, it is preventing us from facing our own truths and limiting beliefs.
It is our way of getting in our own way.
So, it is timely now at this time of the year, as we enter springtime, to first of all shift our focus to letting go and creating more room in our lives.
It is only then that we can feel prepared to map out our intentions and put our own personal action plan in place. Taking it step by step ensures that we increase our chances of success at each stage. Too often we approach it the wrong way around and then wonder why every year we fail to get where we wanted to get to.
What would happen if you chose first to create space, to make room, so that you can invite in new thoughts, new ways and in so doing, open yourselves up to exciting new possibilities?
What if you accepted that fear has its place, and you acknowledge that place in us, but also decide to courageously welcome in what needs to come in. You don’t need to know exactly what that is, and in fact, the less you try to know the better.
What if you just placed your focus on creating space and making room?
It is in that creation, that act of clearing and de-cluttering, that we can prepare the way for something magical to happen.
Our old ways of clinging to the hurt, pain, disappointment, anger and fear point to our innate need to control all that happens to us, but true alignment happens when we stop repeating those things that make us feel bad and do more of the things that make us feel good about ourselves.
Spending time with the people who make us feel good about ourselves, getting out into nature, meditating, treating ourselves, enjoying our own company, exercising whatever lights you up. Do more of that. Think about whom you are with, and what you are doing, when you are at your happiest and then do so much more of that.
Remember, where you look, you go – what you focus on, you create more of. This is what I know I do when I bring my Tough Love Energy ™ to my coaching sessions when working with my 1:1 clients! I get them to see what it is they want to change in their lives, to really see it in all it's details, so that they can believe it is possible for them to do it and we prepare the path for them to do just that.
This is not to over-simplify the act of letting go or to pretend that any of this process is easy. It’s not. But it is always worthwhile.
We may, for example, discover that the stories, the narrative, by which we have lived our lives from have changed and that we no longer wish to identify with the person we once were, or with the person we had created in our minds. In order to do this, we must have a strong sense not of who we were, but more importantly, who we want to become.
This is our WHY. This is the reason we wish to let go and create space so that this person has room to emerge.
We may even reveal the need to let go of people in our lives and to admit that they are not bringing out the best in us. It takes real courage and strength to see that relationships that once served us well are no longer doing so and are in fact bringing a level of toxicity into our lives that's blocking us and holding us back.
In the past, I admit that I was much too influenced by the thoughts of others and allowed myself to stay small because I didn’t want anyone thinking I was getting notions above my station. This resulted in me keeping my dreams to myself and observing others thriving in my space with envy.
But now things are different. I just don't care anymore what anyone else thinks. I’ve let go of all judgement and trust now that someone should be able to see that I'm coming from a good place, regardless of my actions or words, which is all that matters. If they can't see that, I know now that I can't make them.
I no longer feel the insatiable need to belong - I now see I that I actually don't need to. I belong with those who love me as I am and that's more than enough. I accept that I'm not for everyone and finally I'm at peace with that!
Do you recognise yourself in any of this?
Do you feel a need to fit in or belong?
We may not want, or be ready, to admit that what we need are better boundaries to help us to say no, when we mean no. To stop worrying about appearing selfish and create space for a new way of doing things that will make us feel more true to ourselves and much more in alignment with who we want to become.
Letting go, releasing, creating space and room in our lives is the best way for us to honour ourselves in the most authentic way possible. Only then are we truly ready to welcome in the incredible new possibilities that are out there waiting for us. It’s then we prepare the way to flourish, to bloom, to grow.
So as we tentatively step into spring, I want you to ask yourself what might this be for you?