Episode 3 - Grief Changes You
Grief is such a big topic that resonates with us all so differently. Our connection to grief is as unique as our understanding of it and it is definitely a topic I could talk about at length for hours.
However, for the purposes of this podcast I’ve honed on three observations from my own personal experience with grief:
1. With the ‘benefit’ of hindsight having lived through loss, what I know for sure is that grief changes you. It totally changed me and the person I am now, speaking to you today, is a direct product of that grief.
2. I also know that as result of my losses I became so terrified of being abandoned again, of isolating others, that I hid how I was really feeling and in so doing became the version of myself I believed others would tolerate.
3. It took me four years (three years longer than it should have) for me to be brave enough to ask for help. I was fortunate after a few false starts to find the incredible professional support of Dr Elizabeth McCrory.
When we start to heal we can often find ourselves trying to find our way back to being the person we were before loss entered our lives. Accepting she has gone is hard.
I also know how hard it is when someone you know loses someone and you haven’t been through that experience, it’s awkward. You’re afraid of saying the wrong thing so you probably say nothing. But honestly it’s okay to say to someone “I’ve no idea what you’re feeling but I do want to understand it.”
Fumbling is better than mumbling!
If you have never lost anyone, but know of someone who has, just know that giving them space to talk about their grief, to talk about the person they have lost is the best way you can support them.
In this podcast also I share with you the importance of not letting grief consume us or to allowing it to define us. There is no getting over grief, that phrase bothers me, but there is a way forward when the rawness of grief eases where we can begin to put our lives back together. Slowly and at our own pace. Life will never be the same but that doesn’t mean life can never be good again. It’s okay to see that.
If this podcast brings up some issues for you and you would like someone to share them with please feel free to email me HERE. Alternatively, if you are interested in some Grief Counselling / Therapy with Dr Elizabeth McCrory you can find more information on her website by clicking HERE.
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